Script sample
Taken from pages 1-2 of ‘Murder at Crooked Creek’
Act 1, Scene 1
The scene opens in The Laughing Cowboy Saloon, amidst much frivolity, laughter, card games, conversation, honky-tonk piano music and drinking. Country dance music starts to play. Any eights ‘n reel country dance-style music will do, or if you are able to involve more people, a barn-dance band would add to the occasion. If you can get hold of one, a ‘’bucking bronco’ machine with crash mat is an optional extra.
Lasso Lily McGraw
C’mon y’all. Take yer partners and do-si-do. C’mon down and join in the dance. It’s party-time at ‘The Laughing Cowboy’ and the drinks are on the house.
Simple Barn Dance with 8 characters to make up numbers. However, only those 4 characters in the first scene are ‘themselves’. (See separate instructions, use one you know or make one up!). At the end of the dance, the frivolity continues, eventually quietening down. Lasso Lily goes behind the bar to serve drinks, Wild Phil Pickup and the Sheriff sit down at a table ready to play cards, and Deputy Dirk goes to the bar to order a drink.
Lasso Lily McGraw
G’d ev’nin’ Dirk. It’s a fine night, t’night. What can I get ya?
Deputy Dirk
Give me a beer, Lil…….and a whisky chaser………..better make it a double.
Lasso Lily McGraw
Comin’ right up, Dirk. Had a heavy day? (Makes a mess of pulling the pint)
Deputy Dirk
Best not ta ask, Lil. Best not ta ask. But hey, yer lookin’ good, Lil. Howz about you ‘n I meet up later?
Lasso Lily McGraw
No use you keep askin’ me, Dirk. I told you, I ain’t interested no more. (Hands him a beer and spills it on him accidentally)
Deputy Dirk
Jeez, Lily. Did you ever learn to pull a pint without spillin’ some? And, don’t tell me yer still carryin’ a torch for that Pronto fella. What’s he have that I ain’t got?
Lasso Lily McGraw
D’ya really need ta ask me that, Dirk? He treats me like a lady, which is more ‘n you ever did. (Naughtily) And he has a few other talents that…..kinda single him out, if ya know what I mean.
Wild Phil Pickup
Care to join us in a game of Poker, Dirk? Aces high, winner takes all.
Deputy Dirk (Sarcastically)
No, I don’t care to join you, Pickup. It wouldn’t be right for the law to be fraternisin’ with the likes o’ you.
Wild Phil Pickup
Seems Sheriff O ain’t so fussy….. eh, Sheriff? Maybe Dirk’s still after yer job!
Sheriff O Wyatt Akkus (Sheepishly & annoyed at the remark)
Hey, Dirk. Ya know, Wild Phil’s not so bad. After all, what’s a bit a’ moonshine amongst friends? It’s not like he’s no gunslinger or nothin’.
Deputy Dirk
Ain’t no point in havin’ no laws if nobody obeys ‘em. I’m surprised at you Sheriff. Moonshine’s one thing, but takin’ advantage of poor ol’ innocent folk with them ve-hi-cles o’ yours, is entirely another thing, and I don’t wanna be party to it.
Wild Phil Pickup (Standing up angrily)
Now, you wait just a cotton-pickin’ minute Deputy Dirk High ‘n Mighty De La Forge. Seems like you enjoy insultin’ law-abidin’ folk rather too often. Weren’t me that did that, ‘n you know it. Truck came to me like that ‘n I just…….. tidied ‘er up and sold ‘er on in good faith, I swear to God that’s the truth.
Sheriff O
Si’down, Phil. He’s jus’ mad at Lily fer givin’ him the cold shoulder…..or maybe it’s on account o’ he can’t get hold o’ no moonshine his-self (Laughter). Pay no mind ta him. (Sheriff O and Wild Phil sit down and start their game of cards)
Lasso Lily
Where d’ya hide it anyway, Wild Phil. I heard you got somethin’ goin’ on with Ms Steer, or maybe it’s my imagination that I saw her a-winkin’ at you last night.
Wild Phil
Doris and me are good friends……..no more…….no less.
Lasso Lily (Mockingly)
Doris, eh. There’s not too many folk ‘round here who get ta be on first name terms with ‘Miss Hoity-Toity’ Steer. (Mocking laughter ‘Oooh……. Doris’ etc.)
Deputy Dirk
Anyways, I heard you was more ‘an jus’ friends, ‘Wild Phil’. I’m guessin’ you didn’t get that pet name for nothin’. (Laughter) And I’m told that you’ve acquired more than a passin’ int’rest in haberdashery in recent months. (More laughter)
Lasso Lily
An’ yer pants, Phil……..they ain’t never smelt so clean and fresh. From what I hear, laundry’s never been so appealin’. (Laughter)
Wild Phil
That’s as maybe. But ain’t you folks got nothin’ better to do than gossip?
ALL
Nope! Sure haven’t. Nothin’ like a good bit ‘a gossip etc. (i.e each say one line)
Wild Phil
Well, seems like I need ta give y’all somethin’ ta think about.
Lasso Lilly
What’s that then, Phil? You ‘n Ms Steer gettin’ wed? (Laughter)
Wild Phil (Standing up)
You won’t jest when you hear what it is.
Deputy Dirk
Go on then, Phil. We’re all ears! (Everyone listens)